There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
