For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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