he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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