the new term for farting is butt boxing.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
