i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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