Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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