Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
