I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
