I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
