at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
