but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
