it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
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There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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