This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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