There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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