I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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