I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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