i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize