just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
