In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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