organizing the empties. That sober.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I can't turn off my feet"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
