He is an equal opportunity slut.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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