i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
