remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
