Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i will never coherently bang her
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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