Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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