I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
