C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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