how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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