dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
