I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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