I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
should my penis look like a turkey
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
