why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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