I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
