I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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