wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
