I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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