Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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