There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
