i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
