if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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