omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize