I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
