birth control should be required to get into college
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
MIDGETS
????
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
