Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
