what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
