I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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