Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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