The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize