She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
