ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
