No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
