Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
