Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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