were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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