; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
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But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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