I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
