Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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