Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I can't put those talents on a resume
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
