would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize