They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
We are all done wearing pants today
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
