I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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